Of Rivalry and Rules
by WolfPilot06
Summary: Sometimes, Sasuke thinks he should be a little more wary of Naruto, a little more offended when the idiot drapes his arm around his shoulders. Somehow, though, he can't bring himself to care. Gen fic with slight hints of shonen ai, SasuNaru.
1. Of Rivalry and Rules

**Title:** Of Rivalry and Rules

**Author:** WolfPilot06

**Pairing: **SasuNaru, if you squint, tilt your head to the side, and do a somersault.

**Warnings:** Mostly gen, a little language, and probably a little OOC, one-shot. Oh, and overabuse of italics. One-shot.

**Notes:** This is my first finished fic for Naruto. I'm absolutely crazy about the series, but haven't really found myself worthy of writing these two idiotic favorite characters of mine. Ah, well. Enjoy!

--

This, Uchiha Sasuke thinks sourly, has to be the most utterly undignified thing ever to have happened to him.

"Fucking bastard," his companion hisses, "Haven't you heard that old saying? 'Don't light a fire if you can't handle the heat'?"

_Okay_, Sasuke decides, _Naruto__ sucks at adages_.

Though, really, if he tries to think about it with a Naruto-ish sort of logic, it makes some sense, especially in this case, what with Sasuke's hands and legs having been seared by his own _Katon_ jutsu, reflected back at him by a water jutsu he'd never seen before.

"Shut up, dobe." He snaps, in far too much pain to come up with a more intelligent response, "I'm slipping."

"Fucking _idiot_." Naruto hisses again, but he obligingly clasps his hands beneath Sasuke's bottom again and hefts him up further along his back. Sasuke's half-tempted to say something about inappropriate touching, but he suspects that Naruto would dump him on the ground, injuries or no injuries, if he did that. Still, Sasuke has to comment on Naruto's tendency for vulgar language, or else the blond idiot might think he got dropped on his head or something.

"Language, Naruto," he chastises, smirking against Naruto's neck, "There are more words to the Japanese language than 'fucking'; you might want to pick up a dictionary – that's the book that you look up words and their meanings in – and expand your vocabulary."

Naruto merely grunts, though from the way he tenses under Sasuke's arms, the Uchiha heir knows that the blond is just barely resisting the urge to drop him and stomp on him a few times. Sasuke knows that he is pushing the limits of Naruto's admittedly short patience by needling him like this, but hell, _he's_ the one being carried. There is self-preservation and then there is _pride_, and the entire village of Konoha could tell you which one he favors over the other.

"Yeah, well, there are _four_ people on our team," Naruto retorts belatedly, "Not one. I know that you might have a little trouble counting, but really…"

"I could have handled them on my own," Sasuke growls, referring to the three missing-nin he had fought back in the forest. They were the same missing-nin that had first turned his _Katon_ against him and then flung him off a cliff in the midst of a taijutsu brawl. Of course, he had managed to bring two of them over the edge with him as he had fallen, and they had taken the brunt of the fall while Sasuke had only broken a leg upon hitting the ground. He had sat on the ground, cursing his own fate after agonizingly wrenching the broken bone back into place, and was making a bad attempt at wrapping it in a makeshift splint while his vision swam in and out of focus when Naruto found him. "I had two of them out of commission already."

"Right," the blond says, and even though Sasuke can't see his face, he knows that his rival is rolling blue eyes up at the sky in askance. "And when were you planning on taking care of the third? Before or after you passed out from setting your own leg? And how were you planning on climbing up yourself? Or – _hey_ – maybe you were hoping he would jump over the edge and obligingly impale himself upon your kunai."

Sasuke snarls, and he is glad that first, he is on Naruto's back so the blond idiot cannot see his face, and second, he is not one to blush easily. Naruto's right, though Sasuke will never admit this to his stupidly grinning face; there was no way that Sasuke could have found his way to the top of the cliff short of sprouting wings and flying there. If Naruto had not found him, it is entirely possible that Sasuke would still be sitting there cursing his fate and waiting to die from infection. "I didn't _pass out_."

"You were close to it." Naruto snorts and shifts Sasuke's weight again. They are a fair ways away from Konoha, though on occasion, Sasuke's eyes can pick out a glimpse of the tops of the walls through the trees as Naruto patiently tromps through them. He is not dashing along the tree branches, and Sasuke suspects this is because Naruto – the idiot – had gotten rid of not only his own three missing-nin, but the one Sasuke'd left behind, and climbed down the cliff face after his rival without a second thought. Of course, with the idiot's luck, he had not so much as gotten a scratch as he had speedily clambered his way down, and he had spent a good ten minutes making fun of Sasuke before offering to carry the irate Uchiha back to Konoha.

Personally, Sasuke thought Naruto was suicidal. If he had been anyone other than himself, Naruto probably would never have dreamed of teasing Sasuke before making the demeaning offer to carry him on his back. As it was, Sasuke had been in the perfect position to strangle Naruto. He had given the attempt a serious try as Naruto had hopped about like a madman, trying to knock Sasuke off his back against the trees and cursing his ungratefulness. In the end, Sasuke had only given up because he had no desire to sit there for a few weeks, waiting for his leg to either heal or rot off, with only an idiot's corpse for company.

Still, now, with Naruto blabbering on and on about how it is not weak to call for help, and how Sasuke's pansy ass will always need saving by the Great Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke's giving the option a second thought. There are plenty of other idiots in Konoha, and he is sure he will be able to find a more bearable sparring partner if he looks. As to getting back to Konoha – they are now close enough that Sasuke could probably find a branch to use as an impromptu crutch and hobble back to the village on his own.

Apparently, though, as idiotic as he is, Naruto can also read minds.

"And if you kill me, Tsunade-baba won't heal you, and you'll have to sit there for weeks waiting for your leg to heal." Naruto chirps, his irritation at Sasuke's show-off, loner tendencies seemingly having faded away enough for his characteristic (obnoxious, Sasuke thinks) cheerfulness to bubble up again.

"I'm currently weighing the possibility of inaction for three weeks against a lifetime without your stupid blabbering." Sasuke says dryly.

"Life would be boring." Naruto replies wisely, spiky blond head nodding in agreement to his own words, "'Sides, I still haven't become Hokage; I can't die yet." And then, offhandedly, "You couldn't kill me if I turned my back to you and gave you a kunai to stab me with, anyways."

Sasuke does not feel that this comment warrants a verbal response and lets Naruto know by cuffing him across the back of his head. The idiot actually turns his head to grin at Sasuke.

"Don't get too used to this," Naruto warns Sasuke. The dark-haired shinobi is fairly sure that Naruto is referring to carrying him. "I don't want you thinking that I'm getting mushy-mushy feelings towards you or anything. It'd just be really stupid if you died of a broken leg at the bottom of the cliff, you know?" Abnormally long canines are exposed as Naruto's grin widens, and yet Sasuke is so used to the expression that it does not strike him as being the least bit feral. "Besides, Sakura-chan would have my head if I left you there, and I don't think the village would be all too happy with me if I let their precious Sasuke-kun die."

Sasuke snorts and turns his head to the side under the pretense of watching the underbrush for possible enemies, although he knows that Kakashi and Sakura long ago cleared the way for them. Naruto's blue gaze is too open and familiar, and whenever Naruto looks at him with that broad, taunting grin, Sasuke cannot remember about his psychotic brother or his purpose in life.

Sasuke hates this dissolution of focus, and so he avoids looking at Naruto as much as possible.

"Idiot." he mutters half-heartedly. He can't really dredge up the will for a good insult in the face of the fact that Naruto's banter is really a cover for concern, that of all the people in Konoha, Naruto would probably be the most upset if he never came back. It's one of those weird rivalry things, which Sasuke understands instinctively but cannot explain in words.

"Bastard." The reply is automatic. Naruto does not even have to think about it. Both of them know what they're really saying.

_Thanks_.

_No problem._

For a moment, Sasuke wonders if this is what having a real brother feels like. Itachi was hardly a prime example. But this easy camaraderie, the banter and simple acceptance of their connection to each other – there could hardly be Sasuke without Naruto, nor Naruto without Sasuke – is so overwhelmingly _right_ as to completely dumbfound Sasuke. Sometimes, he wonders if he should not be just a little more wary of Naruto, a little more offended when the blond moron drapes his arm around Sasuke's shoulders or declares that he's going to kick Sasuke's ass five times to Sunday.

"By the way, you owe me ramen." Sasuke blinks as Naruto breaks him out of his thoughts abruptly, disoriented and startled to see the great walls of Konoha rising before them. He snorts audibly right into Naruto's ear, causing the other boy to flinch.

"I'm the one with injuries here. I think you should treat _me_ to dango." Sasuke drawls. Naruto just rolls his eyes, ignoring the medic nins and Sakura as they hurry forth to take the injured Uchiha from his careful grasp.

"After I went through the trouble of carrying your pansy ass all the way back here?" the blond snorts, barely reacting to Sakura's scandalized call of his name at the disrespect to her precious Sasuke-kun. "Fine. You treat me to ramen, and I'll treat you to dango, how about that?"

"You're such a moron." Sasuke grumbles, but his lips twitch slightly, "I still get the better end of the deal."

"Whatever." Naruto says, and already, he's turning away towards his apartment. The hospital won't let him in to see Sasuke even if he does follow – they both know this from past experience – and so Sasuke just chucks his sandal at Naruto's back (it broke after the fall off the cliff, anyway). He's not surprised when Naruto catches it easily and turns back to scowl at Sasuke.

"Tomorrow, then." Sasuke grunts.

Naruto grins. "Tomorrow."

--

The End

--

Yes, that's actually the end. Wow, I actually finished a Naruto fanfiction. Now, to finish all those half-finished ones lying around my hard-drive…Comments and criticism deeply loved, appreciated, and adored.

Wolf


	2. Of Girls and Games

**Title:** Of Girls and Games

**Author:** WolfPilot06

**Pairings:** Nascent (if somewhat one-sided) SasuNaru, one-sided NaruSaku, and hints of ShikaTema and ShikaIno.

**Warnings:** Ephemeral shonen ai, hints at het pairings (whoa), a bit of language, and Sasuke acting a little OOC.

**Notes:** I actually rather liked Ryrahd's suggestion to show Sasuke and Naruto's progression towards friendship and more through a series of short stories. Originally, I was like, "Nnnaaahh, I'm too lazy, and I never really write anything more than one-shots", but then I got the idea of Naruto asking Sasuke for advice on girls, and this was born. So, I'm not promising regular updates or any future chapters, really, but here. Have Sasuke and Naruto on guard duty.

--

Naruto hummed. He coughed. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and twisted slightly to glance at his partner, who remained impassive and still through all of Naruto's squirming. Naruto pulled a grotesque moue, scuffed at the ground with the toe of his shoe, and finally whirled around to scowl at Sasuke.

"I don't _get_ it."

Dark gray eyes returned his impatient glare stoically, an inky brow lifting slightly in inquiry.

"How come Shikamaru gets _two_ of them?" Naruto demanded, "He doesn't even try!"

Sasuke sighed mentally and turned slightly to give Naruto a reproving look.

"We're supposed to be on guard duty, idiot," he reminded his rival. Naruto ignored him.

"I mean, seriously. He just lies there, watching the clouds, while they argue over who gets to buy him lunch that day, makes that face –" Naruto pulled at the corner of his eyes, deliberately made his gaze flat, and curled his lips down at the corners in a frown; offhandedly, Sasuke had to admit that his Shikamaru impression was pretty much spot on. "And then he sighs and goes, 'how troublesome.' It's like he doesn't even _care_ that he's got two of the hottest girls in Suna and Konoha mooning over him!"

Naruto flailed his arms in impotent frustration. Sasuke leaned back to avoid a wildly swinging fist and just smirked at Naruto.

"…Oh, shut up, bastard." Naruto scowled at him, "Just because _you're_ a chick magnet doesn't mean anything. Us normal guys don't have your luck with the ladies."

"Probably because you try too hard," Sasuke noted coolly, resisting the urge to cross his arms over his chest and lean back against the wall. Two more hours of guard duty with the moron, Sasuke chanted to himself, and then he was free to curl up in his bed and forget that the oblivious blond ever existed. Not that he was ever all that successful at forgetting the loud-mouthed idiot, Sasuke thought wryly, but it wasn't for lack of trying.

Naruto's glare intensified.

"What do you _mean?_" he demanded. Sighing, Sasuke briefly closed his eyes, begged whatever deities existed for patience, and opened them again to give Naruto a _look_.

"Okay, Naruto," Sasuke said, sounding as if he was lecturing a five-year-old child, "Think about it. If a girl walked up to you tomorrow and said that she loved you with every fiber of her being and wanted to go out with you, how would you react?" Sasuke prudently didn't mention the fact that the shy Hinata had practically been doing this via body-language for several years now. Large blue eyes blinked.

"I'd say 'sure' and go out with her, duh." Naruto rolled his eyes, saying this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

'_Of course_,' Sasuke thought to himself sardonically, '_This _is_ Naruto we're talking to here. Mr. Give-Me-All-Your-Attention-And-Love Uzumaki_."

"What if Sakura was there?" he went on patiently, silently congratulating himself for not letting his irritation with the topic at hand show. He _hated_ talking about girls and getting dates and suchlike. They were such a waste of time, he thought disgustedly; shinobi didn't have the time or the freedom to worry about such trivial things. If – _when_ – he managed to kill Itachi, he'd worry about getting a girl, but until that faraway day came, he'd really prefer if his stupid excuse for a rival stopped prattling on about the female half of the population.

"We-ell…" Naruto said slowly, considering, "I think I'd turn her down then, 'cause, y'know…I _like_ Sakura-chan." He sounded almost shy, one finger scratching absently at a whiskered cheek as he blushed. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Despite the fact that Sakura has never shown any interest in you whatsoever?" Sasuke asked impatiently. He was getting really annoyed now, though he couldn't exactly figure out why. Naruto scowled at him, blush disappearing instantaneously.

"That's part of the reason I like Sakura-chan!" A silly grin spread over Naruto's face, "She doesn't just like _anybody_. She's got taste, and she's pretty, and smart, and nice…" Sasuke resisted the urge to elbow Naruto violently as the blond shinobi's expression turned dreamy, "And when she realizes that I'm the number one ninja in Konoha, she'll finally notice that I'm the nicest guy around and she'll definitely fall for me!"

"So the reason you like Sakura is because she's hard to get, right?" Sasuke prodded. He wondered why he was continuing to talk about this at all, and chalked off his uncharacteristic chattiness to the boredom that accompanied guard duty and the fact that he was probably suffering a momentary bout of insanity.

Naruto's elated expression faded slightly as he considered that.

"Well, not exactly – " he paused, frowning, and scratched his head in puzzlement. "…Yeah, I guess so." Blue eyes widened. "_Oh_."

Sasuke closed his eyes and tilted his head back against the wall behind him, feeling unaccountably smug.

"So there you have it." He said, "The reason girls don't go after guys like you or Kiba is because you're too easy to get." He opened one eye and smirked at Naruto, "They know that if they said one nice word to you, you'd fall for them. On the other hand, guys like Shikamaru – " _'and myself_', he added silently, "- are harder to get, and therefore present more of a challenge." He shrugged, "That's it."

'_I can't believe I'm telling him this_.' Sasuke thought sourly. Perhaps part of his advice stemmed from selfish reasoning, though, Sasuke admitted. For some reason, it annoyed him like hell whenever he saw Naruto mooning over Sakura or another pretty girl. Mainly, Sasuke told himself, it was because his rival acted like a stupid _idiot_ whenever he encountered an attractive female. All of his brains – of which there was not a lot to begin with– seemed to dribble out of his ears whenever he saw Sakura. Sasuke hated to see Naruto debase himself for the sake of a girl who couldn't really see him for _him_, a determined blond moron twice the shinobi than anyone ever gave him credit for.

"Huh." Naruto finally said, still blinking. "I guess that makes sense."

Unexpectedly, Sasuke was nearly knocked over as Naruto glommed him, strong arms attaching themselves around his waist and squeezing tightly.

"_Thanks_, Sasuke!" Naruto cheered, "I just got dating advice from the _Ice Prince_ himself!"

"What the- _get off of me_, you – you _limpet!_"

Sasuke vainly fought the uncharacteristic blush that threatened to bloom across his cheeks as Naruto determinedly _snuggled_ into his side, hugging even more tightly before letting go and bouncing back, grinning from ear to ear.

"So you're saying," Naruto practically chirped, rocking on his heels and still grinning that mad grin, "That I've just got to act hard-to-get and Sakura-chan'll like me?"

'_No, you idiot_,' Sasuke thought, scowling, '_You just need to act like you do around me. Impossible to reach, impossible to understand, and so fucking hard to get that I have to punch your face in to get you to notice me.'_

He said none of that, though.

"Hn. She'd never go for a dead-last dunce like you, anyway." Sasuke snorted and turned back to watch the unmoving forest beyond Konoha's gates. Naruto sputtered for a moment before making a rude noise and crossing his arms over his chest indignantly.

"Yeah, well, fuck you, too, bastard." Naruto muttered. Sasuke just smirked.

A few minutes passed before Naruto predictably started to shift again, scuffing his feet against the ground and fidgeting nervously. Sasuke mentally sighed again and was about to ask what was wrong _this_ time, when Naruto neatly pulled the rug from under his feet.

"Thanks," the blond said gruffly, narrowed blue eyes daring Sasuke to make fun of him. Sasuke just blinked at him a few times and grunted.

"Whatever."

But when Naruto looked away, ranting about uncaring bastards and sticks lodged in unmentionable places, Sasuke let himself smile.

--

End

--

Comments and Criticism loved, appreciated, and kept in a little box to gestate.

And…I have to say, I'm not in the habit of replying to replies individually, so I'm just going to give you all a group hug and a heartfelt thanks for taking the time to hit the reply button and telling me how you feel about the story. I really, really appreciate it.

Wolf


	3. Of Food and Fun

**Title:** Of Food and Fun

**Author:** WolfPilot06

**Pairing:** Nascent, barely-there SasuNaru

**Warnings:** Some language, probably tad bits of OOC (which are ever-present in most fanfiction, I've noticed), hints of shonen ai, gen, faint inklings of angst, and really, NO POINT.

**Notes:** The ideas just keep coming.

By the way, my style had a tendency to vary from chapter to chapter or story to story, so forgive me if this chapter's style doesn't really coincide with the mostly-dialogue chapters of before. This chapter is wordier and involves fewer witticisms, because, really, I have this thing about digging into my characters' heads and dragging out their most mundane thoughts for the world to see.

I also hate ending chapters. I never really know what to say in closing, so…blah.

I swear I won't be updating this often in the future. I'll only be updating when I have an idea. Fortunately for you people, I've another part in the making. It involves an injured Naruto, Nursemaid!Sasuke (I'm just kidding - er, well, sort of), and stitches.

And, argh, Sasuke's getting more and more OOC. I apologize for that. It's just – cookies, Sasuke, and Naruto. How can there _not_ be any OOC?

--

There were two reasons - and two reasons alone - that Sasuke was currently lying on his rival's bed, contemplating murder, muffins, and the possibility of out of world invasions all at once.

First, Naruto had, in an impressive show of pyrotechnics and with an incredible lack of control over a fire jutsu he'd persuaded Sasuke to teach him, managed to set fire to Sasuke's own apartment earlier that day, forcing Sasuke to call upon the water jutsu he'd picked up from Kakashi and a nearby well to drown the raging inferno that had once been his bedroom.

The rest of team 7 had shown up to find both genin covered in soot and grappling in the soggy remains of Sasuke's kitchen as the Uchiha heir tried his level best to strangle the living hell out of his teammate. It had taken nothing short of Kakashi putting the both of them into headlocks and refusing to let them go until they promised to stop trying to kill each other before Sasuke stopped attempting to asphyxiate the blond idiot.

As it was, Sasuke would never, ever be able to figure out _why_ exactly Naruto had decided to practice the jutsu in Sasuke's _apartment_. There was stupidity, and then there was _stupidity_, and Naruto always seemed to feel the need to prove that he was not only the loudest ninja in Konoha, but possibly the stupidest one, too.

The second reason that Sasuke was lying on top of Naruto's faded coverlet, freshly showered and wearing the plainest, not-orange clothes that he'd managed to scrounge out of Naruto's closet (a pair of worn-out jeans and a white t-shirt), was because he was secretly convinced that an alien had descended from the skies and possessed Naruto. Either that, or Ino was practicing her Mind-Switching jutsu again.

Whatever the reason, the boy who called himself Uchiha Sasuke's main rival was currently up to his elbows in flour, butter, and salt in the tiny corner of his one-room apartment that he called a kitchen. He was busily ignoring Sasuke, who had one dark gray eye fixed untrustingly upon his powdery host, and singing something in a wavering, slightly off-key alto soprano that had Sasuke cringing and wishing he was back in his own apartment, fire damage or no fire damage.

The Uchiha heir closed his eyes and tried to take a nap, a task that was neatly defeated by Naruto's crooning and banging around the kitchen. For the fifth time in ten minutes, Sasuke imploringly asked of himself the same two questions that had been plaguing him ever since Kakashi had smilingly ordered him to move in with Naruto until his apartment was fixed.

'_Why me?_' Sasuke cried in the silence of his mind, for all that his expression showed none of his discontent. It was a question he often muttered in the dark of the night, when bloody murder and his brother haunted his thoughts and kept him from sleeping. In this case, though, he was not wondering why fate had so spectacularly decided to screw him over by having his brother go psycho and kill off his entire family in one go. Rather, he was wondering what bad karma had crossed over from his past life and forced _him_ to bear with Naruto's terrible howling and attempts to make some indistinguishable and hopefully edible food.

'_Why _him' Sasuke moaned next. He could understand why Sakura's residence was out of question, for all that the pink-haired girl desperately had tried to figure out a way to let her precious Sasuke-kun stay at her house for a week (Sasuke had to admit, however, to being extremely relieved when Kakashi had brought up the fact that having a twelve-year-old boy stay in a girl's house for a week was extremely suspicious and bordering on improper). Kakashi was so secretive about his private life that Sakura and Naruto were secretly convinced that he _had_ none, that he perpetually was somewhere in Konoha either reading his dirty novels or plotting some new way to torture his genin team. The silver-haired jounin had not even mentioned the possibility of having Sasuke stay over at his apartment, and Sasuke was not so desperate as to overstep the rules of propriety his upbringing had instilled in him and ask if he could stay at his teacher's residence. That had, of course, left Naruto as the only option.

Naruto had cursed the decision, citing everything from how Sasuke stunk (which he probably did in the aftermath of the explosion, but then, so did Naruto), to how Sasuke probably snored at night (if he did, he wasn't aware of it), and finally to how Naruto only had one bed (as the guest, Sasuke had smugly kicked Naruto out of his own bed and taken it over, condemning the blond to sleeping on the hardwood floor). In the end, Kakashi had cheerfully ignored all his protests, and within the space of an hour, the two boys found themselves blinking at each other from within the doorway to Naruto's apartment.

Despite his initial protests, Naruto was proving to be a more gracious and considerate host than Sasuke would have given him credit for. He'd allowed Sasuke to usurp the shower first and had even dug up clothes for him to wear before taking a shower himself, and now he was making an enormous effort to prepare some semblance of a meal for the two of them that didn't involve ramen. Sasuke had shoved Naruto's face into the ground enough times to make the point that he didn't like the over-salted noodles nearly as much as the blond did. It was a consideration for their rather grudging friendship that Naruto hadn't wholly ignored Sasuke's preference and was trying to make some kind of neutral food for them to eat.

Still, Sasuke had _no _idea what Naruto was trying to make. Whatever it was seemed to involve a great deal of grunting, kneading, and getting flour in his hair as Naruto laboriously rolled out a great chunk of dough on his clean kitchen table and began rummaging in his cupboards for something. After having watched his rival slave away at whatever he had been making for the past half-hour or so, Sasuke finally felt compelled to speak.

"Oi, idiot," he said by way of preamble, "What the hell are you making?"

There was a brief moment before Naruto's blond head popped out of a cupboard, a wide grin plastered across his face.

"Cookies!" he announced cheerfully and dove headlong back into his cupboard again. Sasuke blinked once, shook his head, and blinked a second time.

"_Cookies?_" Sasuke demanded incredulously, lurching to his feet and stalking towards his rival.

"Yep!" Replied Naruto as he finally found what he was looking for and stood up, a pair of people-shaped cookie-cutters in hand. Undeterred by Sasuke's looming presence at his elbow, he began cutting cookies from the sheet of dough and carefully transferring them to a battered cookie sheet.

Sasuke counted to ten and back again, took several deep breaths, and, deeming himself calm enough to speak without raising his voice, finally turned towards Naruto.

"_Why on earth are you making _cookies?" Sasuke yelled. Perhaps he wasn't all _that _calm. Naruto scowled at him, still cutting his pastries.

"'cause cookies are _good_." Naruto said belligerently, "'sides, I stole the flour and sugar from your apartment when we left. I usually can't – er, I don't make cookies, 'cause of time and stuff, but we don't have a mission tomorrow, so I figured-"

"I thought you were making _dinner_, Naruto." Sasuke growled, "It's almost six thirty!"

Large blue eyes blinked at Sasuke with deceptive innocence. "I thought we'd go out to get ramen."

Take back all the charitable thoughts he'd had earlier about Naruto's consideration for their friendship. Naruto was an _ass_.

"Naruto, I think we've had this discussion before," Sasuke said with as much calm as he could muster. The forced smile on his face was threatening to turn into a scowl as a muscle in his cheek twitched. "I don't _like_ ramen."

"Yeah, well, that's 'cause you're a weirdo." Naruto said dismissively, "Besides, ramen's cheap and good and filling."

"Only if you eat five or six _bowls_ of it, moron." Sasuke growled, "I'm not paying for it this time. _You_ burned down my apartment. The least you could do would be to treat me to a decent meal."

Naruto glared at him.

"What? I'm putting up with you in my apartment for a week, already!" he protested, "I'm not filthy rich like _you_ are, pretty boy Uchiha!"

Something in Sasuke snapped.

"That's _it!_" he cried and tackled Naruto to the ground, nearly getting his eye gouged out by a wayward cookie-cutter in the process. Naruto let out an incoherent noise as he was pinned the ground, but soon retaliated by punching Sasuke in the shoulder. They scuffled for several minutes, rolling over the ground of Naruto's apartment and knocking into the table and chairs as they tried their very best to beat the crap out of each other.

Sasuke was infuriated. He'd been waiting all this time while Naruto made _cookies?_ The – the absolute _moron!_

"We're getting barbecue!" he yelled, as he squashed Naruto's face against the floor. Naruto flipped them over and proceeded to try to twist Sasuke's arm out of its socket.

"No! Ramen!" Naruto declared before he was thrown against the wall and pinned there by Sasuke's elbow.

"_Barbecue!_" Naruto's knee hiked up into Sasuke's stomach.

"Ramen!" Sasuke swept Naruto's legs from under him as he fell and landed on top of the other boy heavily.

"_Barbecue!_" Naruto bit Sasuke on the shoulder.

"_Ramen!_" Sasuke put Naruto in a headlock.

"Ahem."

Both boys froze abruptly. Slowly, sheepishly, they looked up to find Sakura standing in Naruto's open doorway, her fists set on her hips and her expression torn between amusement and affront at the scene before her. "Well. I came to ask if you two wanted to come over to my house to eat dinner…" A delicate pink eyebrow lifted as she surveyed the mess that had been Naruto's apartment. Remarkably, the cookies were undisturbed, but a number of other things – pictures, weapons, magazines – had been knocked to the ground in their fight. "But, you know, if you'd rather choke each other to death, that's fine by me."

Sasuke coughed, attempting to regain his dignity as he tried to disentangle himself from Naruto. The blond wasn't helping much, giving Sakura nervous, embarrassed looks as he turned crimson under her amused scrutiny.

Sakura had matured incredibly since the formation of Team 7 – enough so, at least, to acknowledge Naruto as a friend of sorts – though she had yet to give up on Sasuke. Still, there was a great deal of sisterly affection in her green eyes as she watched them silently move to clean up the mess a little.

"Er, Sakura-chan," Naruto finally piped up, sounding far more nervous than usual, "Don't worry about me. I'm in the mood for ramen today, so – " He was grinning now, scratching the back of his head in apparent nonchalance, but Sasuke knew him too well to really be deceived by his behavior. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"Don't be silly." Sakura declared, marching over to Naruto, and – much to both boys' surprise – took out her handkerchief and wiped at some of the flour still dusting Naruto's nose. "I invited you, didn't I? I'll be hurt if you turn down my offer." She smiled then, lifting an eyebrow. "Haven't you always wanted to have dinner with me, anyways?"

As Naruto's eyes widened in surprise and gratitude, Sasuke felt a surge of respect for Sakura. The girl was much smarter than he had ever given her credit for.

"Thanks, Sakura-chan." Naruto said quietly, his voice suspiciously choked. He rubbed surreptitiously at his eyes while his two teammates pretended to look elsewhere.

"Let's go, then." She started heading towards the door, pausing by the kitchen table long enough to roll the remaining cookie dough up and stick it in the fridge in a covered bowl. "My parents are waiting for us, and if we don't hurry, they'll eat all the food without us."

Sasuke reached the doorway and realized that Naruto still hadn't moved from his place on the floor. He turned to look at his rival over his shoulder, lifting an eyebrow slightly.

"Hey." He said. Naruto didn't respond, staring at the ground with a faint smile on his lips. "Oi. _Dead last_."

Naruto's head snapped up, annoyance flashing in his clear blue eyes.

"Don't _call_ me that!" he yelled and scrambled to his feet. Sasuke waited until the blond drew level with him and cuffed the back of his head almost affectionately.

"Let's go, Naruto. You can finish your cookies later." He paused, and then, grudgingly, "I'll help you."

--

End

--

Comments and Criticism desired as usual. Blah.

Wolf


	4. Of Pride and Prejudice

**Title:** Of Pride and Prejudice

**Author:** WolfPilot06

**Pairing:** Nascent, not-really-there SasuNaru

**Warnings:** A little bit of language, possible OOC, nascent shonen ai, blood, and stuff. Mostly gen.

**Notes:** The timeline of this entire series is a little vague, but I'm going to pretend that this particular episode happened before Tsunade came and before Orochimaru went on his little rampage in Konoha. Namely, this is after Sasuke acquired the second wheel of his Sharingan (whenever that happened; I forget when), but before Sandaime died. Frequent updates will probably cease from this point on.

Randomly: I really love _Pride and Prejudice_, by Jane Austen. I loved it so much that I skipped eighty pages towards the end just because I _had_ to know if Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth would end up together or not. Dear god, I love Colin Firth. And I need to see _Bridget Jones' Diary._

--

The moron was late.

Uchiha Sasuke, pride of Konoha and last heir of the proud Uchiha clan, leaned back against the door of his rival's apartment and frowned. They were supposed to have gotten together for some late-night training to practice chakra detection and stealth, but his blond teammate had yet to show up.

Sasuke tilted his head and regarded the moon in the sky, did some mental calculations, and estimated that it must have been around ten o'clock already, three hours since Kakashi had dismissed the team, and two and a half since Naruto had left Sasuke and Sakura, yelling something about ramen and Iruka-sensei. Knowing Naruto's gluttonous eating habits, he should have finished stuffing himself over an hour ago.

Sasuke scowled. Something wasn't right. He stood away from the wall and pulled his hands from his pockets, preparing to go into the night-darkened streets of Konoha in search of his errant rival.

The last time Naruto hadn't shown up for a rendezvous, Sasuke had found him huddled in a garbage-infested alley, trying awkwardly to clean a deep gouge in his arm, which he'd claimed he'd gotten from a badly-placed vegetable cart. The dark-haired shinobi had seen enough kunai-induced wounds in his lifetime to recognize the shape of the cut, but if Naruto wasn't going to admit to being attacked, Sasuke wasn't going to ask.

Just as he was about to leap to the roof of the opposite building, he noticed a movement in the corner of his eye. He activated the Sharingan as he turned to look, his night vision sharpening tenfold as the two wheels of his bloodline spun into existence. It took him a moment to recognize the matted blond hair and torn and battered jumpsuit, and yet another before he pieced the observations together to identify the small, lurching figure as Naruto himself.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to call Naruto's name, but the other boy happened to lift his head then and spotted him. A weak grin stretched across his bruised face, the already fading marks darkened by the shadows cast by the moonlight, and he waved a hand in greeting.

"Yo, Sasuke." he rasped. His normally raucous voice was scratchy and subdued, and it obviously took a fair amount of effort for him to smile. Sasuke watched as Naruto painfully limped up the steps, though he was trying hard to conceal the agony his left leg seemed to be causing him.

Silently, Sasuke stepped in front of his rival, forcing the other boy to stop. Blue eyes, wide and ingenuous, pretended that nothing was wrong even as a dark gaze scrutinized his abused form, taking in the ripped and dirty state of his favorite orange jumpsuit, the large, fading bruise along the left side of his face, the deep gouge in the thigh of his left leg, and the ginger way he was holding his wrist.

Sasuke sighed and turned away, wordlessly opening the door to the apartment and letting Naruto hobble in.

Following his teammate into the dark, slightly dank apartment, Sasuke waited as Naruto fumbled for the light switch and began dragging his first aid kit from beneath his bed, pulling out a variety of outdated magazines and dusty weapons along with the kit. He had the faint urge to help the other boy, but seeing as Naruto was making a show of ignoring Sasuke's presence, he decided not to waste the effort of speaking and instead flopped onto the sloppily-made bed, watching as Naruto ditched the kit in favor of disappearing into the bathroom. A moment later, he heard Naruto cursing, followed by a few muffled thumps, and finally, the sound of water running.

Closing his eyes, Sasuke waited some more. He wrinkled his nose as he breathed in the somewhat musty scent of Naruto's coverlet, a faded and worn cotton affair with the stuffing peeking out at the corners and a badly-mended rip along one side. Naruto's apartment smelled like old ramen, sweat, and Naruto's own musk, an odd and familiar mixture of smells to be sure, and one that seemed to lack the distinctive, clean smell of laundry detergent.

A moment later, Naruto reappeared, a ratty, damp towel wrapped around his waist and his blond tresses wet and stuck to his forehead by tiny rivulets of water. He glared at Sasuke for a moment, clearly considering kicking him out of the apartment, but Sasuke merely closed the single eye he'd opened to regard Naruto with and pretended to go back to sleep.

He watched from beneath long lashes as Naruto fumbled with the kit, digging out a pair of bent tweezers and leaning over his wounded thigh intently. Already, the edges of the wound were sealing together, but apparently, Naruto didn't like this, as he grimaced and reached for the kunai he'd put next to him. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched as he watched Naruto grimly slice the wound open again before reaching in with the tweezers and carefully removing bits of debris.

"If you do it that way, idiot, your wound's going to get infected." Sasuke said offhandedly, acting as if it wasn't his concern if Naruto fell over and died. The blond scowled at him.

"No, I won't." he retorted pugnaciously, "I don't _get_ infected."

Sasuke shrugged, sitting up to better watch as Naruto pried at a particularly large and gory bit of metal, a fine sweat beading along his brow as he ineffectually dug at the piece of shrapnel.

"_Shit_." Naruto swore, as the metal slipped from his tweezers again, remaining stubbornly embedded in the flesh of his thigh. A few tears of pain had risen to his blue eyes, but he ignored them, determinedly bowing his head to the task again. Sasuke sighed and went into the bathroom to wash his hands.

The other teenager was still grappling with the elusive bit of metal when he returned, biting his lower lip hard enough to bleed and swearing in a continuous stream under his breath. Sasuke hunkered down next to him and carefully placed his fingers alongside the wound, holding the edges of the gash apart slightly to give Naruto better access. Naruto grunted in thanks and soon tossed the bloody piece of metal onto the rag next to him.

"What'd you do this time, you moron?" Sasuke asked idly, taking the tweezers from Naruto's trembling fingers and muttering something about ineptitude, covering the fact that Naruto was breathing heavily from the pain of digging pieces of shrapnel out of his leg and getting a hissed 'bastard' in return.

"I fell." Naruto said, cracking a faint grin at the look Sasuke gave him. The Uchiha dug in a little more painfully than necessary for the sliver of wood he was pulling out, causing Naruto to protest. "Ow! You bastard, be _careful!_ I sort of _need_ that leg!"

"Uh-huh," Sasuke replied sardonically, removing the last bit of debris and reaching for the bottle of alcohol to disinfect the wound, "And the ground punched you in the face, sprained your wrist, and gashed your thigh open all at once." (1)

Naruto nodded emphatically. "Yep. It was a mean bit of ground." His grin grew crooked, "I came out on top, though."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and liberally poured alcohol in the wound, holding the other boy down firmly as Naruto yelped and squirmed, tears coming to his eyes at the burning in his leg. Sasuke reached for the surgical needle and thread next, deftly threading the needle with practiced ease before eyeing the wound.

"I don't suppose you have anesthetics for this." Sasuke said, already knowing the answer.

"Anesthetics are for _weaklings_."

"Right. Try not to scream in my ear, then." And he ruthlessly began to stitch the edges of the wound together.

Naruto nearly tensed, seemed to realize it would make the pain worse, and bit down on the side of his hand – _hard_ – to keep from yelling at the agony. Sasuke contemplated humming and figured that Naruto would suddenly develop a murderous interest in acupuncture and try to kill him with the needle if he did.

After what seemed like hours for Naruto and what was, in all truth and reality, no more than half an hour, Sasuke finished putting in the last stitch. Pretending not to notice how Naruto's hand was now bearing a bleeding semi-circle of teeth marks, he cleaned up as best he could and put away the needle and remaining thread.

He lifted an eyebrow at Naruto, silently impressed that Naruto had managed to keep from even groaning as Sasuke was stitching up the gash. His bangs were even damper than before with sweat, and his eyes were closed tightly, but he hadn't made a sound during the entire procedure.

"Oi," Sasuke poked Naruto in the shoulder, "I finished stitching the wound. Give me your left hand."

Blue eyes opening, Naruto waved his wounded hand at Sasuke, winced at the movement, and kept the appendage still as his rival poked and prodded at it.

"You didn't need to stitch my thigh," Naruto added unnecessarily then, "I heal fast."

Sasuke delicately held Naruto's wrist in the palm of his left hand and gently clasped his other hand over it, a faint thrum of power emanating from his fingertips as he concentrated a thin, steady stream of chakra into realigning the bones.

"I know the extent of your healing abilities," Sasuke murmured absently, "If you don't stitch deep, non-life-threatening wounds like that, it takes longer for your healing abilities to kick in and seal the edges." (2)

Naruto watched him curiously for a moment as Sasuke started to wrap his wrist in bandages, though the sprain had mostly been fixed by the realignment.

"Oi, where did you learn how to heal?" he asked curiously. Sasuke shot him a disparaging look.

"Unlike you, dead last," Sasuke snorted, "I paid attention in class and learned rudimentary healing techniques."

Naruto colored slightly.

"Then why didn't you use 'em on my _leg_, Mr. Know-It-All-Teacher's-Pet?" Naruto snapped. In all truth and reality, Iruka was much fonder of Naruto than he was Sasuke, but somehow, being teacher's favorite didn't seem to count for much in class. Sasuke rolled his eyes, pulled out a few swabs of cotton, and dampened them with alcohol, poking deftly at the side of Naruto's face as the blond boy winced.

"Because healing wounds requires actually regenerating cells and reconstituting tissue," Sasuke said condescendingly, "Something that's usually left to medic-nins due to the complexity involved in encouraging the right cells to grow and preventing insufficient or extraneous tissue growth."

At Naruto's blank look, Sasuke sighed.

"If you don't do it right," he explained with a great deal of asperity, "You could either bleed to death or grow a tumor on your leg. Fixing minor sprains and twists, like what happened to your wrist, only involves physically realigning the bones to reduce stress to the tendons and letting the body take care of the rest."

"_Oh_." Naruto said, enlightenment coming to his face like dawn breaking over the horizon, "Why didn't you say so, then? You sounded like one of those boring-ass medical dictionaries Iruka tried to make me read once."

Sasuke just snorted and whapped Naruto upside the head, albeit with a little consideration for Naruto's injuries. As the blond boy groused and complained about Sasuke's poor bedside manner, Sasuke taped a large gauze pad over the side of Naruto's face.

"Eh? What the hell?" Naruto demanded, trying to touch the medical tape as Sasuke impatiently batted his hands away. "It's just a bruise!"

Sasuke shrugged.

"It covers up half of your stupid face," Sasuke said dryly, dodging the punch Naruto threw at his shoulder. He smirked. "Too slow, idiot." Ignoring Naruto's scowl, he stood up and dusted his hands off together. "Where're your clothes? Your stuff smells like it hasn't been washed in ages."

Naruto's pugnacious expression grew wary.

"Uh, don't worry about it." he said cautiously, "I'll get to it tomorrow or something."

Sasuke went into his bathroom and picked up the pile of discarded garments, making a face at the smell of garbage and worse arising from the tattered cloth. He proceeded to go around Naruto's apartment, collecting random articles of clothing and dropping them all in the dilapidated box serving as Naruto's laundry basket. It wasn't that Sasuke was suddenly suffering from a bout of housewifey tendencies, but he had a sensitive nose and hated it when Naruto showed up on missions wearing dank clothing.

Naruto watched him silently as he went around, his blue eyes serious and opaque, whatever thoughts were going on in his head hidden by long lashes. Finally, Sasuke turned and lifted an eyebrow, holding a hand out wordlessly.

"…I don't have a key to the laundry room." Naruto's voice was quiet and subdued, eerily similar to the tone he'd used earlier outside the apartment. Sasuke frowned slightly.

"You lost it? Why didn't you ask for another one?"

Fidgeting, Naruto scratched at the back of his head, plastered a grin on his face, and avoided Sasuke's gaze as he laughed weakly.

"Ah, I never had one. The apartment manager, uh, doesn't like me."

Sasuke looked incredulous.

"How do you wash your clothes, then?" he demanded. Naruto sighed, realizing he wasn't going to escape the questioning all that easily.

"In the bathtub," he said grudgingly, "With my hands and body soap."

His gaze intent on the floor, he didn't notice the long, measuring look Sasuke gave him. When Sasuke opened the door, though, his head shot up.

"Where are you going?"

"Out." Sasuke said blandly, his face carefully blank. "Get dressed. I'll be back in a bit."

And he left, leaving Naruto to gape at the closed door in incomprehension.

In the hallway outside of Naruto's apartment, Sasuke used the faded apartment map to locate the manager's office and began moving there, his expression unreadable and thoughts whirring through his head.

This was not the first time Naruto had showed up, inexplicably beaten and bloody, with no missions to explain his injuries. Whenever Sasuke asked as to the origins of his wounds, Naruto would just plaster that irritating grin on his face and say that he fell. Sasuke had his own suspicions.

For all that he never showed it, he would have to be blind not to notice the intense looks of hatred most of the villagers gave his blond teammate. The whispers and half-heard murmurs as they walked through the streets together were enough to make Sasuke's hackles rise, but Naruto blithely acted as if he hadn't heard a word the villagers had said, when Sasuke knew he could hear everything he could hear and more. There was some unknown reason that the villagers hated Naruto, and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what it was.

Naruto was annoying, yes. Sasuke, himself, was often tempted to beat his irritating rival unconscious for his inane babbling about everything and nothing, for his infuriating tendency to be loud and oblivious, and for his frequent announcements about his future status as Hokage.

Yet, even the Uchiha grudgingly had to admit that Naruto had his good points. He had all the right intentions even when he was being raucous and aggravating. His burning drive and ambition allowed him to bully through any obstacle in his path, compelled him to pick himself up from the ground time after time. He stubbornly refused to admit defeat, something Sasuke found frustrating at times, but which had pulled Team Seven's chestnuts out of the fire more than once. He trusted everyone implicitly, unless they had done _something_ to warrant his distrust, and could make friends with just about anybody under the sun. Naruto had some weird form of empathy that allowed him to sympathize with most, and his characteristic honesty and naïveté drew others to him like moths to a flame.

True, he liked to pull pranks, but even those were few and far between these days, as Naruto grew increasingly obsessed with training and working towards his goal of Hokage. Sasuke knew that Naruto was a good person, and as the person who possibly knew Naruto better than anyone in the world, he could not see why the villagers despised him. He had a suspicion that Naruto's lack of a laundry room key tied in with that inexplicable hatred, though.

He reached the apartment manager's office then and knocked on the door firmly, ignoring the fact that it was almost midnight now and trusting that a decent manager would still be up to receive any late-night complaints from his or her tenants. When a voice called from within, he opened the door and allowed his characteristically stoic features to relax, eyes widening slightly and lips even curving in a slightly sheepish smile that he, admittedly, had plagiarized from Naruto. The entire effect was intended to make him look younger, and from the friendly, but puzzled, expression on the manager's face, he'd succeeded.

"Excuse me," he said politely, "I'm the nephew of Kishimoto-san in apartment 131C, and he asked me take care of his house while he was away this week." Unobtrusively, he'd looked at the list of tenants and, recognizing one of the names as a jounin sent on a mission earlier today, chosen his guise accordingly. He gave way to an embarrassed chuckle and scratched the back of his head nervously, for all that his brain was screaming something about humiliation and dignity. "Unfortunately, he left a huge pile of laundry to do, and no key to the laundry room. I don't suppose you have a spare I could borrow? I'll give it back to you tomorrow." (3)

The apartment manager smiled broadly at Sasuke and rose ponderously from his desk to shuffle through a file cabinet nearby.

"Of course, young man," he said boisterously and riffled through the manila folders before finally drawing a small key out. "Here you go. Just drop it in the box outside my office when you're done."

Sasuke bowed, thanked the man, and left the office, the friendly expression dropping off his face immediately. The manager gave him the impression that he was a decent man, which made the mystery of his not giving Naruto a key all the more baffling.

A stop at the key smith and Ichiraku's later, Sasuke knocked on the door of Naruto's apartment. There was a muffled thud, followed by a pained yelp and some swearing. Sasuke arched an eyebrow and waited patiently. A moment later, a disheveled Naruto answered the door, his eyes smarting with tears as he looked questioningly at Sasuke.

"The hell, Sasuke?" he grumbled, rubbing at his eyes. "Where'd you go? I fell asleep waiting for you."

"And fell out of the bed when I finally returned, like the clumsy dolt you are." Sasuke noted dryly. He hefted the bags of ramen he was holding and smirked at the dreamy expression that came over Naruto's face.

"Ramen!" the blond cried ecstatically, "Sasuke, you're my hero!"

He reached longingly towards the bags, but was neatly distracted when Sasuke dropped a key into the palm of his outstretched hand. Blinking at it, Naruto gave Sasuke a puzzled look.

"What's this for?"

"The laundry room," Sasuke replied, pushing past Naruto into the apartment when it became apparent that Naruto wasn't going to leave the doorway anytime soon. "I took the liberty of making you a copy. I didn't think I could stand it if you showed up to a mission smelling like a sewer again."

He started setting the ramen on the table, half-waiting for the expected comeback, and was discomfited when he heard nothing but silence. Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at Naruto to find his rival gaping at him, blue eyes wide with surprise. He frowned. Naruto automatically scowled back, his surprise melting away as a glimmer of thanks and mischief entered his eyes.

The blond teenager plopped into the chair across from Sasuke, grinning as he picked up a pair of chopsticks and snapped them apart.

"Okay, who are you, and what did you do with Sasuke?" he said jokingly, digging into a bowl of steaming miso ramen. Sasuke snorted, a faint hint of a smile teasing along his lips as he sat more sedately and began to eat.

"He got kidnapped by aliens." Sasuke deadpanned. Naruto chortled.

The rest of the meal continued without further banter, both boys content to sit with each other in companionable silence. Sasuke watched Naruto surreptitiously as they ate. The simple pleasure on Naruto's face made Sasuke feel as if his night's endeavors had been worth it. Later, they might fight and curse each other out, but for now, they were friends, and for Sasuke, that was enough.

--

The End

--

Not _The_ End, The End. Just, y'know, the end of this particularly long chapter. Comments and Criticism much appreciated, all you lovely reviewers. I'd give you all Pocky, if I could. Unfortunately, you'll have to settle for another group cyber hug. Hee.

(1) This is an obscure reference to Tamora Pierce's _Song of the Lioness_ series; specifically, it refers to the first book (the title of which I've forgotten). It happens when Coram asks "Alan" (Alanna) what happened to her after she fights with Ralon, and she stubbornly says that she "fell", refusing to be a tattletale. It strikes me as something Naruto might do in the case of the villagers beating up on him. I figure that Naruto wouldn't be the type to overtly fight back against civilians, and who would instead let them beat him a bit, figuring that he deserved it, in part.

(2) Meh, this is me playing with canon. I know that Kyuubi heals pretty much all of Naruto's wounds, but for the fic's sake, I'm going to say that it has a lesser tendency to heal minor, non-life-threatening wounds, and that Naruto may, in part, be purposefully slowing down the healing as a sort of self-punishment. Our Naruto's not really one to dwell on angst, but he's only human.

(3) Yes, this is a reference to Kishimoto-san of Naruto fame. Yes, Sasuke seems a little OOC, but as a shinobi, I expect he's been trained in subterfuge and disguise.

Wolf


End file.
